


Friends Not Friends

by Crown_of_Winterthorne



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Friendship, Gen, Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-12
Packaged: 2018-05-24 19:35:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6164182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crown_of_Winterthorne/pseuds/Crown_of_Winterthorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few small fics about how Duo and Relena, the unlikeliest of friends, managed to become just that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In which Duo and Relena have a heart-to-heart about how reckless it is for her to chase after Heero.
> 
>  
> 
> Takes place in that small period of time just after they met and just before Heero’s self-destruction. Let's pretend it was longer than a day or two.
> 
> Also. Let me say: It is NOT Relena hate, even though it might, possibly, kinda seem that way at first? Duo’s just blunt and they’re both a couple of snarky kids.

“Duo!”

The boy in question flipped his sunglasses to the top of his head and looked up at Relena with a smile. From his position on the deck chair, shirtless and stretched out by the pool, she towered over him. Her fan club was nowhere to be seen, which meant she’d managed to leave them behind somewhere. He’d known Relena for less than a week—disastrous first meetings didn’t count—but he already knew that they drove her to distraction. He wondered if she understood that they offered her a measure of security. They were mindless, but they’d make for handy witnesses.

Lucky he was one of the good guys.

“Are you ditching class too?”

“I have a free period. I was looking for Heero; do you know where he is?”

Duo shrugged, closing his eyes against the sun. He left his glasses where they were. “No idea. He told me to leave him the fuck alone. You might want to do the same.”

She bristled, as she did every time he and Heero tried to put distance between the girl and their missions. “Why? Heero is—”

“A soldier,” he reminded her, cracking one eye open. “Just like me. Relena, whatever this is—this game of ‘catch me if you can'—you need to let it go before it gets you killed. I get the fascination, I do, but you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. This isn’t a game. We’re not here for fun; this is work. This is war.”

“I know that.” It was petulant, wounded. Duo had to remind himself that Relena was something he didn’t have the luxury of being: a kid.

“I don’t think you do.” He was gentle, meeting her eyes with compassion in his own. “Heero will kill you if you get in the way. I know you think he won’t and I really don’t know why he hasn’t yet, but if you keep pushing him, he will. Or I will.”

“No, you wouldn’t.”

A sad, bitter smile crossed his lips. “I’m glad you think so highly of us, but if you keep playing this game, we’re not going to have a choice anymore. One of us will be ordered to kill you. You’re a risk and you’re **not** important enough to keep alive.”

Relena sank down to the deck chair beside Duo’s, the expression on her face stricken. He found that he was genuinely shocked to find that she’d never really considered this before. What kind of sheltered life had she lived to think that she was safe? Even with the death of her father, how could she be oblivious to the risks and threats to her own life? He envied that kind of innocence.

“I’m sorry, Lena,” he said, sitting up and tucking one foot under him.

“You’re being honest.” It was quiet, barely audible. She was staring at the concrete, her hands fisted into the skirts of her uniform.

“One of my better traits,” he offered her a smile. “I really am sorry.”

“Your handlers? They would really order you to kill me?”

“I’m surprised they haven’t already. You know who we are.” He shrugged. “I think the only reason the orders haven’t come down yet is because you’re still pretty high profile. How would it look for Darlian’s daughter to die so soon after his assassination?”

“I met one of them, you know. After my father's—Darlian's—death.”

Duo blinked. He noticed that she’d corrected herself about her father, but that was an inquiry for later. He was more concerned with which of the engineers she’d met. That was dangerous. “What? Who?”

“Dr. J. He was very nice to me. He said… Heero had been trained to be a weapon, but that he’s really kind and gentle.”

“Oh, Lena…” Duo exhaled a heavy breath. “Is that what you’re doing? Trying to save Heero? Whatever Heero was… he’s not that anymore. Kind and gentle doesn’t survive war. And if J’s anything like my handler… he’s **not** nice. I don’t know why they didn’t kill you and pretend that you died with Darlian, but you can’t trust them. Even if it’s the truth, and even if you could save Heero or whatever, he’d be a liability. A huge one. And I’d be ordered to kill you both.”

“Would you?” It was the second time she had asked and Duo couldn’t ignore the question this time. He needed to make her understand.

“I wouldn’t want to, but yeah. I would.”

It hurt. He could see that it hurt and he didn’t like it. Making girls cry wasn’t something Duo ever liked or wanted to do. He reached over to take her hands into his, squeezing.

“I wish we could be friends, Lena. Heero and I don’t have that luxury. I know that’s probably hard for you to understand. You’ve probably never met anyone who didn’t want to be your friend before now.”

“Those aren’t friends,” she said. “They’re sycophants.”

“Is that why you’re obsessed with Heero? Because he wasn’t impressed? Or because he showed up with all that brooding mystery and excitement?”

Relena smiled then. “I suppose both. And I’m not obsessed.”

“Lena, you’ve chased him halfway around the world. The whole of OZ can’t find us and yet here you are!”

They were both laughing now. She was pretty when she laughed, even though there were still tears in her eyes. She was spoiled, rich and had never been refused anything ever, yet Duo found himself thinking that it was true. They could have been friends in another life.

“He… He doesn’t hate you, you know,” Duo said when their giggles had subsided.

“I never thought he did. I thought… that you might?”

“Me? Nah. You were willing to take a bullet for him. That’s pretty brave. Stupid, but brave.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You’re not always going to be that lucky,” he returned to the more serious subject at hand. “I should have killed you both that night. Someone more ruthless than me might have.”

“They didn’t destroy your kindness?”

She did have a knack for surprising him. Duo had to pause a moment before answering. “I’m not the same kind of weapon as Heero.”

“You’re not being forced?”

“Oh, I am. Never think that any of us have a choice. This is just the lesser of two evils for me.”

“There’s always a choice.” Her naiveté was showing again. Or maybe it was Duo’s cynicism.

“Pretty to think so. Easy to think so when you have enough to eat and a warm place to sleep.” Duo squeezed her hands once more and picked his shirt and tie up from the ground. “I have to get to my next class. Heero will turn up eventually. Leave him alone for now.”

“You won’t let him leave without saying goodbye, will you?”

He gave a short laugh. “Heero doesn’t listen to me about anything. I can try, but that’s all I can do. No promises.”

“What about you?” she looked up as he stood, slipping his shirt on and adjusting the collar. Now he was the one doing the towering.

“I’ll say goodbye. If you want me to.”

“But we’re not friends,” she finished, a little sad, a little wistful.

“If things turn out okay on the other side of the war,” Duo said, “maybe. If you don’t get yourself killed chasing Heero around. If I don’t get my ass blown up by OZ.”

She smiled. “Then be careful. I will be too.”

“Deal.” It was his turn to be a little sad. “I’ll try to keep Heero alive too.”

Relena cocked her head to one side, the corner of her mouth quirking. “Even though he’s not your friend either?”

Duo shrugged, caught, and gave her a helpless smile. “What can I say? I’m just a really great guy.”

He draped his tie around his neck but didn’t knot it and picked up his books before turning to leave. Relena caught his wrist. He looked back, eyebrows arching in question.

“Duo. Thank you.”

He smiled and shrugged again. “Anytime, princess.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Duo is a bad influence on Relena and outraged on her behalf.
> 
> Still set prior to Heero’s self destruct. Maybe a little Heero hate in this one (because having experienced something similar, I have never understood how Relena could have forgiven him for the birthday invitation humiliation).

  


They were sitting on the rock wall outside the school. It was well out of bounds and probably a little dangerous, overlooking the ocean as it did. Duo had needed to help Relena climb over two fences and a good-sized boulder to get there. Her white capris were no longer quite so white.

Duo had to admire her tenacity, even if it was something of a liability. That was another discussion. One he hoped they wouldn’t need to have again. If it did, it was better if it came from Duo rather than Heero. Heero… he had no tact. Case in point:

“Heero told me about the invitation, you know. To your party.”

Relena blinked at him, a blush staining her cheeks. “He did?”

“It was really shitty, what he did. In front of your friends and all.”

Relena looked at him curiously; he kept his gaze on the ocean, waiting, letting her gather her thoughts. From the corner of his eye, he could see her mind working, trying to understand how he could condemn Heero when clearly she didn’t. Had no one called Heero out on his actions? Or had Relena simply forgiven him and everyone else followed suit, not daring to be outraged on her behalf? He’d seen for himself the way that her hangers-on tailored their reactions to suit her.

“You must think I’m even crazier now, chasing after him.”

“Yeah. But…” he leaned back on his hands, glancing over at her. “It was real, wasn’t it?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… No one’s ever told you no before, have they? Your friends fawn over you—you told me so yourself. So Heero shows up, could care less about you, your name, your money, and you’re hooked. He’s different.” He grinned at her, a knowing, cheeky smile that dimpled his cheek. “The excitement and mystery was just a bonus.”

“I… I suppose so,” she admitted. “It doesn’t make it hurt any less though.”

He sighed, smile fading fast. “No. No, I know it doesn’t. And I mean it. He shouldn’t have embarrassed you like that.”

“You wouldn’t have let him get away with it.” She was looking at him like she was impressed. Or surprised. Duo wasn’t sure which hurt his feelings more.

“Lack of social graces doesn’t give anyone the excuse to be a dick, Lena. Not even Heero, not even for the reasons he did it.”

“There was one boy,” she told him. “He hated that Heero humiliated me. But… I think he was only angry because of who I am. And who Heero isn’t. How dare a nobody reject the Vice Minister’s daughter?”

“You don’t think he really cared?”

“I think he cared about impressing me. You don’t.” She gave him a smile and nudged his shoulder with her own. “Do you?”

“I’ve never really cared about impressing anybody,” he admitted.

“But you care that Heero hurt me.” She smiled again, a smile that was half happy, half smug. “I thought you said we weren’t friends.”

“Lena…” He really couldn’t afford to let her think that they were friends. Even if they were beginning to become that. Hell, he couldn’t afford to think that they were friends.

“You call me Lena. Do you think I’d let anyone call me Lena if we weren’t friends?”

“My friends **die** , Relena. If it were up to me, I would have put your ass on a plane back home last week.” He was sitting up straight now, looking at her with serious blue-violet eyes that were too old for his face. “I care. Don’t get me wrong about that, but I can’t let myself see you as a friend.”

“Why not?”

“Because I still might have to kill you one day!”

That caught her off-guard, as if she’d forgotten who she was talking to for a moment. She licked her lips, a rare show of nerves. “Because Heero won’t.”

“Yeah.”

“Duo…” she reached out, dropping her hand midway. “I’m sorry.”

“I chose this, remember? Don’t be sorry for me.” He looked back out to the ocean, sighing. “Still… it’s good to know you care. That somebody will remember me as more than… this.”

He gestured to his black clothes, knowing that she didn’t quite understand all that he referred to. It might have been nice to tell her everything, explain how he’d managed to find himself in this position: a colonial child terrorist on top of a cliff with a rich girl from Earth. Sometimes he wasn’t even sure he understood it himself. Or that he was, in fact, more.

She reached out again, this time finishing the movement and placing her hand on his shoulder. Duo found himself yanked forward into a hug and had no choice but to return it. They were of a similar size, yet she somehow felt smaller, more delicate. Or maybe he was just aware of how much more dangerous he was.

“You really are a great guy,” she said fiercely. “And you **are** my friend. Whether you like it or not!”

He had to laugh. This ridiculously determined girl who still had no utter idea how much danger she was in. He should be furious. He should be encouraging Heero to kill her—or simply do it himself. Yet here he was, letting her hug him, commiserating over Heero’s frustrating personality traits and the war itself. He really didn’t know how he’d come to be on this cliff.

So instead, he hugged her back and gave in. “Okay, Lena. Whatever you say.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession: This was supposed to have been a drabble. A missing scene cut from the previous chapter. Instead, it grew into the ficlet you've just read and it spurred a few missing scenes of its own. So. There should be at least one more chapter after this, BUT. This could be considered this the end instead, for those of you who hate waiting for fics to be finished. For those of you who are patient, I hope the wait will be worth it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter in this little story of how Duo and Relena managed to become the unlikeliest of friends. This one is a bit more angsty than the previous two and the language warning is going up.
> 
> Set the night before the G-boys walk into Une's trap in Siberia.

It was only because he had promised that Duo sought out Relena. He'd already spoken to Heero, said his good-byes and made his recommendations. The bad feelings he had about this mission hadn't eased; if anything, they had increased. Everything about this mission felt ominous. It was a trap—he and Heero had agreed on that much—it was just a question about what kind of trap they'd be walking into. Duo thought that this time they wouldn't come out unscathed. Heero didn't seem to care much about that. It was an acceptable risk, he'd said.

"Risk is one thing," Duo had replied. "This feels like we're cows being led to the slaughterhouse. All blind curves and a bloody end."

Heero had just pointed out that they didn't have any options and they were going to have to face OZ more directly sooner or later. It would be nice if it were on their terms instead of OZ's, but they couldn't pass up the opportunity. Those Tauruses couldn't be allowed to make it to Siberia.

It was orders.

Duo hated orders. Especially stupid orders that were likely to get him killed. Well, more likely to kill him than usual.

He didn't think that Heero would say good-bye to Relena. He'd suggested that it would be nice of him, that it was something normal people did. Heero had just snorted and reminded Duo that they weren't normal people.

Duo told himself that he should really be the one listening to Heero this time around. Instead, despite all that he'd told her, all that he'd tried to convince himself, Duo found himself sneaking into the girls' dormitory and up the stairs to the fine suite Relena had been given.

Because he'd promised that he wouldn't leave without saying good-bye. Like a friend.

"God damn it," he muttered, raising his fist to knock at her door. He glanced around, keeping an eye out for any of the other girls and the dorm mother. That harridan was more frightening than anyone from OZ or the Alliance.

When Relena finally opened the door, Duo slipped inside without as much as a hello. She arched an eyebrow but closed the door behind him and gestured to the little sitting area beside the window.

"I can't stay," he shook his head. "I just came to say good-bye."

"You're leaving?" Relena sat, offering tea. Duo shook his head, trying to keep this short. Trying to avoid the friendly thing. He paced a little.

"Both Heero and me. Yeah."

"I don't suppose you'd tell me where."

"Ah-ha. Nice try, princess," he laughed. "No. I shouldn't even be telling you that we're leaving."

"But you promised, so here you are."

"Broken promises are like lies. I don't do lies." He shrugged, offering her a little smile that was more self-deprecating than funny. Why did he feel so anxious and unable to stand still? Heero accused him of being fidgety, but he'd stayed nearly motionless as he and Heero worked out their routes earlier. He shouldn't be letting anyone, let alone Relena, see him nervous.

She noticed—he could tell that she did, but her upbringing was too fine for her to call him out on it. Yet. Instead she sipped at her tea and cast her eyes to the window. She had a fine view of the base that he and Heero had blown up only a few days ago. In the dark, the wreckage couldn't be seen, but there were pinpricks of the searchlights around the perimeter.

"Heero won't come say good-bye," she assumed.

"No. Probably not."

"It's okay. You can't force him to do anything, I know. I don't imagine he really wants to see me anyway. He's said less than ten words to me since I arrived."

"He's said less than ten words to _me_ ," Duo told her. It was an exaggeration, but they both knew that Heero wasn't the most socially adept boy in school. He wasn't quite sure why he was trying to save Relena's feelings though. It wasn't the first time he had done it either.

"Even though you're friends?"

Duo groaned. "Not this again. I'm telling you, Lena. Heero and I don't have friends. Not even each other."

She gave him a little smile and he realized that he'd fallen for the bait. She was really impossible sometimes. Although so was he, if Heero was to be believed. He gave her a resigned chuckle and shrugged, helpless.

"We can be friends afterwards. If I survive."

"Of course you will! Why wouldn't you?"

"One thing Heero and I agree on, Lena, is that our lives are cheap. We're expendable and the odds are not in our favor." He shook his head. "I don't plan on dying any time soon, but sometimes death has its own plans."

The humor was gone from the moment. He hated having to remind her that their lives weren't certain. This wasn't a book, wasn't a movie. Sometimes the heroes died. He wasn't even sure that they were the heroes, not after what happened at New Edwards.

"Do you think we'll see each other again?" she asked, demure and ladylike. It was a front and Duo knew it. He'd seen the way she reacted to things: with the stiff and formal apathy of a noble or the sarcasm and anger of a teenager. The sarcasm and anger was a lot closer to the real Relena, he thought. She'd be a force to be reckoned with if she could find a way to balance the two extremes.

"I don't know," Duo shook his head. He owed her that honesty. "It's really dangerous this time. More than usual."

"I'm sorry."

He blinked. "What? Why? It's nothing to do with you!"

She raised her blue eyes to meet his violet ones, a sad smile crossing her face as she shook her head. The stiff formality had drained away and he felt like he was seeing part of the real Relena, the Relena he thought she could become in a few years. 

"I'm sorry because this isn't something you should have to do. I know it isn't something you want to do."

"No. It's not." That was hard to admit. 

"Then why do it?"

"Because no one else will. Because it needs to be done and apparently there's only five guys stupid enough in the Earth Sphere willing to do it." He crossed the floor to drop to his knees in front of her, if only because he needed to be able to close the distance between them. Standing across a room or sitting across a tea table wasn't the way to have this conversation. "I chose this. I know you can't understand why and if I'm honest, I don't want you to understand. You aren't like me, Lena. Hell, I should hate you for everything that you are, but I don't. Damn me, but I don't."

"Duo..."

"I do this because I don't want another kid to grow up on those colonies the way I did. You grew up with two parents who loved you, good food to eat and a safe, warm house. The kids on the colonies deserve that too. I fight so that I can give it to them." He shook his head, surprised at himself for telling her any of this. "I don't want to do it. No. But I have to. I _need_ to."

She was looking at him with that shocked expression that he'd seen on her every so often. When she realized how closely she was flirting with danger. When he'd condemned Heero for hurting her over something so trivial as a birthday. He wasn't sure that he liked that expression anymore.

He was going to pull away, stand up and say one last good bye before leaving the way he should have done as soon as she opened the door. Instead Relena reached out for him, gently cupping his face in her hands. She couldn't have known, couldn't even have imagined. For a moment Duo felt like a child again, looking up into the face of the only mother he'd ever known.

Relena was going to be fucking spectacular when she grew up.

She smiled, gentle and reassuring. "Thank you."

"For what?" 

"I've been chasing Heero all this time, first because it was exciting, then because I was grieving. But I think I know what I need to do now." She dropped her hands from his face, offering them for him to take into his own. She squeezed his fingers when he did. "I'm not a soldier, Duo. I know that. But I'm not just a kid either, and there are other ways to fight. The Darlian name... it still has power."

"Relena... You're going to get yourself killed."

"Then when you come to do it, I'll have earned it."

"You do this, if you advocate for the colonies, it won't be me. It won't be Heero. It'll be OZ." He didn't want to feel so responsible for her. If Relena wanted to become more involved, that shouldn't be his business, so long as she didn't interfere with his missions or Heero's. "You're already on their shit list. Don't give them more reason. Please."

"Why not?" Challenging. Daring him to say it. Duo hated her a little bit in that moment. Hated that he was honest and that she would demand no lies.

"Because I'm tired of seeing my friends die, Relena. That's why. You know that's why." He pushed away from her, standing and shoving a hand through his bangs. "Fuck you, Len. Fuck you for making me care and fuck you for caring."

"You don't mean that." If his language bothered her, she didn't let it show. There was no hurt in her voice, even though there were tears in her eyes. She was upset for him, not because of him.

"No, I don't. And fuck me for that."

She got to her feet, crossing the distance between them as easily as he had done earlier, just as intent and serious. He wanted to pull away, to keep raging, but he couldn't do that. So she hugged him. Hugs were surprisingly easy between them, and this one was no different. Duo was honest, even when he wanted to lie to himself, and he sank into the embrace, needing it.

"Don't die, Lena. Please. I really can't lose any more people."

"You either," she said fiercely. "Promise me, Duo."

"I can't promise that. You know I can't." He squeezed his eyes shut as he offered something else. "But I promise to always say good-bye."

—End—


End file.
